Exactly What Make The #OscarsSoWhite

“New Year New Me” is a phrase said by millions every new year, and sometimes even ten or fifteen people of that million actually follow through. The other nine hundred thousand just stick to the same old crap they’d been slinging for years; Drinking… Not getting exercise… Still not applying for that night class… Oh, and only nominating white people for the top award ceremony in Hollywood and leaving the entire idea of diversity in the wayside gutters of Los Angeles, right. Same old same old.

In the vein of years before, The 2016 Academy Award nominations have been revealed and has blinded every eye with it’s piercing whitness. But just how white you ask? Let us break it down:

Not even one actor of color is up for an award this year (again). Out of twenty nominated actors, and with successful films like Straight Outta Compton, Creed, Beasts Of No Nation, and Concussion not a single actor of color in starring or supporting roles in these films were recognized for their work. Nor were the directors or producers that were involved. So how white is the Oscars? Whiter than “symbolically adopting an elephant” or Jen From Appleton, Wisconsin.

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Oh wait, but Straight Outta Compton did get nominated for for Best Screenplay… Ah, but wait… the screenwriter is white. So how white is the Oscars? Whiter than kissing your dog on the mouth. Or the Target dollar section at 11:00 AM. Or applauding at the end of a flight. Or the list of people who subscribe to Amazon Prime. Or Kale.

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But didn’t  Creed get a nomination? It’s a film about a black boxer? It’s powerful and moving, full of great performances. Creed was one of the only critically acclaimed films this year to feature both a black director and black star. So that’s good it got a nomination, right? Yeah but the nomination went to the only white actor in the billing. Worse, it’s for Stallone, an old white dude that every white dude is so obsessed with you’d think that he was the inventor of the basketball-shorts-and-tube-socks-in-Adidas-sandals-look.



So how white is the Oscars? Whiter than having a Rocky IV poster in your dorm room. Whiter than wearing basketball shorts, and tube socks with Adidas sandals. Whiter than using a fork to eat sushi.

So wait… the Oscars are so white that not even Samuel L Jackson’s starring role in Tarantino’s Cinemascope masterpiece got a nod? Not even the up and coming John Boyega who starred in the highest grossing film of all time was given a nomination? No. Not even everyone’s most beloved storm trooper, nor his non-white co star who is no stranger to the Academy Oscar Isaacs. So how white is the Oscars? The oscars this year are whiter than:

Barack Obama’s dance moves

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And even whiter than that flash of light you see when you hit your head so hard against the wall because you’re so fed up with Hollywood’s lack of diversity and lack of effort to even make Oscar worthy films that feature actors and actresses and filmmakers alike. It’s so white, you guys.


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