There are millions of people today partaking in the world wide tradition of making vague promises to themselves in order to make the next year better than the last. These promises are usually made four champagnes in, declared loudly only to impress the person at the party you want to have that midnight kiss with, and then they knock around in your brain the following morning while you try to find every possible loophole. Because, no you don’t “want to go jogging every morning”. We all know that you’re not going to “drink less” or “call your distant relatives once a week”. New Year’s resolutions are like the non-religious lent. Only, rather than facing the wrath of God when you eat a whole box of chocolate before time’s up, you face your own disgusted reflection in the window of a McDonald’s drive through when “You promised you’d lose fifty pounds by St. Patrick’s day. And you know well and good that even the salads at McDonald’s make you gain a full pound in each leg.”
But on Twitter with the hashtag #2016Resolution, we were met with some resolutions reflective of the 2015 year that we hope people take to heart. Like for instance:
This is at first glance an needless resolution unless you like sporadic bathroom brawls. But when you think back to how 2015 was the comeback year for diseases like tuberculosis, measles, ebola and more, you think this man’s resolution isn’t hotheaded, he is putting preventative health in action. And this man is not just a man, he’s a vigilante, a hero even!
This is a resolution that if we want to move out of the year 1582, then yes we should really stick with this resolution. We think back of the empowering 2015 “Slut Walk” brought to us by Amber Rose and realize that this resolution is revolutionary. It can also bring to mind the Cosby travails we witnessed this year. Except instead of “promising marriage”, Cosby promised a good nights rest, a confusing morning, not being taken seriously until a male comedian finally backs your claims, and a defamation suit against you, the victim. Women’s rights was a hot ticket debate in America this year. So let’s get working on making real actionable changes in 2016. And let’s get Cosby in court.
There are many, many entrepreneurial resolutions set every new year. This one however includes that big conversation the U.S. had in 2015 as places like Colorado and Washington D.C. legalized recreational marijuana. He remains hopeful that he will get the job of his dreams, and the whole time it will feel like a really good dream. Those crafts will be very creative indeed. In 2015 we realized just how creative weed could really make a person, when Miley Cyrus declared her love for the herb. Her 2015 year was filled with wild outfits, colorful lyrics, and very interpretive dance moves.
Now this is one that the entire world should take to heart. We need a little love in this world that has been so darkened by the events that we capped off 2015 with. Mass shootings, terror attacks, police brutality, miscarriages of justice, and more. So we should all, in the meantime, until we can brighten the world together, love ANYTHING (but mostly our neighbors of this planet), the way DJ Kaheld loves his plants.
No, this tweet we hope he doesn’t act on. Women, don’t feel the need to do anything to your appearance just because a man thinks you need to. (Don’t take sh*t from dummies Y2K16).
It’s this message we want him to act on. To “Don’t say anything” unless you have anything nice to say. And Mike buddy, refer to the DJ Kahled tweet above, and spread the love.
So these tweets may not have been on the nose with what we all really want to have literally happen in the coming year. But they’re vague enough to be stretched anyway you want, to mean just about anything if you phrase it in your head well enough. So Happy New Year’s from us, you can have any resolution and actually fulfill it now.