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What is the True Definition of An Askhole

An askhole is basically a person who asks for your opinion or advice, yet never uses your advice and does the opposite of what you said to do. Askholes sometimes ask questions for the sake of asking questions or making conversation out of their boredom and free time, basically using you…

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Definition-of-an-askhole

“If you don’t want a friend in life, just adopt a dog.”

What’s the point in having friends if we can’t have them there to support us, give us advice and make life interesting and fun — and vice versa? The beauty of friendship is in the reciprocated act of love, connection and mutual understanding, which brings me to the idea of an askhole…

An askhole is basically a person who asks for your opinion or advice. Yet never uses your advice and does the opposite of what you said to do. Askholes sometimes ask questions for the sake of asking questions. Making conversation out of their boredom and free time, basically using you.

They zone out when you supply an answer, and they always end up doing their own thing. They sometimes will even ask the advice of multiple different people so they will eventually come across an answer that best suits what they want to hear.

To a certain extent, I can understand the need to verbally process, as I am a verbal processor myself, but I do think that there is a time and place for genuinely asking advice, and then, for just asking a friend to listen.

It comes down to the seriousness of the topic in question and the seriousness of the answer for which the askhole is looking.

Sure, if Josephine asks Wanda for advice on what to feed her lactose intolerant cat, Wanda shouldn’t feel upset or disappointed if Josephine ends up buying milk for her cat, which subsequently suffers the diarrhea consequences. Josephine should’ve known better anyway.

But, if Josephine asks Wanda for advice on how to break up with her boyfriend, Steve, and then doesn’t end up breaking up with him at all, Wanda may feel like she put thought and effort into an answer that wasn’t really required, appreciated or acknowledged.

Basically, as a person being asked, you must pick your battles. Yes, I know, Josephine could’ve easily discovered what to feed her lactose intolerant cat by typing it in Google, but is that really worth getting annoyed about when she feeds her cat milk anyway?

However, on the other hand, did Josephine really want to know what Wanda had to say in the potential break up situation, or did she just want to talk about her problems without actually doing anything to fix them?

I’m not necessarily suggesting Josephine has to do exactly what Wanda says, but you shouldn’t ask for advice on an issue unless you’re willing to hear what the person has to say, and then, take it into consideration.

Askholes can make their friends feel used and abused. These friends are contacted often when the going gets tough, but never during the good times.

If you don’t respect the person from whom you’re asking advice, don’t ask in the first place.

By choosing to only ask wise people in our lives who have our best interests at heart and are willing to give us answers and advice that we may or may not want to hear, we may limit the quantity of answers we receive. But, as a result, we gain a better quality and richness.

Additionally, askhole victims (or just people who are askholed) need to identify boundaries. My mom always told us “it takes two,” when it comes to conflict, so not all the blame can be placed on an askhole.

If you know that a person only comes to you when he or she needs advice or help, then set boundaries or lose expectations.

The majority of the time, people may become upset or offended because they expect their friends to take on everything they say and follow their advice, word-for-word, which of course, never happens.

From personal experience, I’ve found it easier to say my opinion and then move on from the situation. I can’t say I didn’t try help, and now, the ball is in my friend’s court as to whether he or she takes what I’ve said to heart or not.

By not allowing myself to set high expectations or get too involved (physically or emotionally) in other people’s issues, I feel freed from potential disappointment or offenses that could occur.

Are you an askhole? Do you spend most of your time asking other people questions? Or, do you try to figure out some of the easy answers yourself (or on Google)?

Do you ask certain people for advice that will give you the answer you want to hear, rather than what you need to hear? Think about how your friend may feel when you ask him or her for advice but then, don’t listen to anything he or she said.

To the victims:

Friendship is a two-way street and a mutual exchange of love. Stand your ground, but be open when friends come to you for advice and opinions.

With friendship comes a degree of responsibility and mutual effort. There’s nothing worse than feeling used or treated unfairly.

To the askholes:

Carefully choose people in your life whom you trust and will give you unbiased and wisdom-filled answers. Listen. Absorb. Reflect.

You obviously want some type of guidance if you’ve asked the question in the first place, so listen to what your friend has to say and respect his or her opinion.

You don’t have to do what he or she says, but keep in mind that your friend isn’t as emotionally involved as you are, so he or she can sometimes see a situation clearer from the outside than you can from the inside.

Let’s start treating our friends how we want to be treated and start communicating better with the people in our lives. So much confusion and offense can transpire through misunderstandings, so if we learn to be less vague and more straight up, maybe our friendships could benefit, too.

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Health

“Why do we Ignore pain until it can no longer be Ignored”

Pain is the opposite of relief, people tend to pacify it with simple ineffective solutions that subsequently compound the problem. it is our human nature to shine it off, unconcerned with the potential ramifications of allowing it to remain untreated, slowly progressing in its intensity pain forces you to take action at this point your nerve endings are on fire, your discomfort can no longer be ignored. your mobility is compromised, eclipsed is your effectiveness, and your ability to complete day-to day simple tasks…

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"Why do we Ignore pain until it can no longer be Ignored"

 Why ignore pain until it can no longer be ignored?

Pain is the opposite of relief, people  tend to pacify it with simple ineffective solutions that subsequently compound the problem. it is our human nature to shine it off, unconcerned with the potential ramifications of allowing it to remain untreated, slowly progressing in its intensity pain forces you to take action at this point your nerve endings are on fire, your discomfort can no longer be ignored. your mobility is compromised,   eclipsed is your effectiveness, and your ability to complete day-to day simple tasks. you are not your normal self. we must evaluate our life choices big and small.this is a very humbling experience in the midst of my pain i cried out to God, he formed me with his own hands, he knows me best.

He has the power to heal us, he sent me several warnings to make changes in my life.out of stubbornness and ignorance I ignored his voice. God often uses different rods to discipline his wayward children, circumstances, pain, people, God wants the very best for us, he wants to guide and protect us from dangers seen and unseen, discipline is one of his means to accomplish his purposes in our lives. we often ignore his voice until  we feel discomfort, pain is a mega-phone, it captures our attention instantly our full undivided  attention. Pain exposes our deepest vulnerabilities, we can no longer hide, we must face the facts motivated by our suffering we would not attain otherwise, this broadens the scope of our understanding and the realization of the actual reality of the physical conditions of our bodies, and are bodies limitations. In the process we are taught through our sufferings respect, consideration, and care. I know in my heart I have to make some improvements today.

 

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Lifestyle

The phenomena of Radical Millennial

This radical generation of millennials, are controlled by the spirit of rebellion.

naturally they rebel against humanity, authority, discipline.many are products

of a single parent household, suffer from strained parental relationships…

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The phenomena of Radical Millennial

Why The blatant disrespect?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This radical generation of millennials, are controlled by the spirit of rebellion.

naturally they rebel against humanity, authority, discipline.many are products

of a single parent household, suffer from strained parental relationships. they

harbor emotional bag, from enduring and experiencing physical and psychological

abuse.

 today’s youth lack restraint in their actions and behaviors. Growing up as an

 awkward teen, my personality often shifted, between introvert and extrovert.

I was a wall flower, my parents were working middle class people. they could not afford

to provide us with hefty allowances, fancy clothes. they made an investment in our

future by giving us their wisdom, and sharing their life experiences.

 wisdom has empowered me to consult God, consider my ways, and

with God’s help make better choices, this protects us from the consequences of

bad choices. Sadly today’s millennials, lack respect for themselves and wisdom.

they are conformed to this world participating in outrageous behaviors, promoted

on social media sites,spiritually leading billions in to bondage, hindering growth

and potential. the world may never

 the untapped potential of our youth, the world may never

see our future doctors, teachers, professors, and lawyers. unrealized potential remains

dormant. we are all given unique gifts and talents to serve the world, wisdom is worth

more than rubies and choice gold. discipline is a defense,  that protects you from danger,

knowledge, and wisdom guides the choices you make, and determines the out come of

your life experiences, the more we educate, nuture, train our youth the better equipped

they will be to thrive in adversity, to over come unimaginable circumstances, to persevere

to grow, and mature to realize and reach their full potential, would send a wave of change

that would make a positive impact in the world, that would alter society by epic proportions.

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Lifestyle

Using Handheld Devices May Cause Young Children’s Speech Delay, new study claims

While technology offers convenience on one’s life, it could also impose negativity on its users especially on children.

A new study presents the possible speech delay in children upon usage of handheld devices last May 6 during 2017 Pediatric Academic Societies (PAS) meeting…

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Using Handheld Devices Cause Young Children’s Speech Delay, new study claims

While technology offers convenience on one’s life, it could also impose negativity on its users especially on children.

A new study presents the possible speech delay in children upon usage of handheld devices last May 6 during 2017 Pediatric Academic Societies (PAS) meeting.

The study was presented as an abstract entitled, “Is handheld screen time use associated with language delay in infants?” which claims that a thirty-minute daily usage of such devices increases the risk of a child’s speech delay by 49 percent.

“Handheld devices are everywhere these days,” said Dr. Catherine Birken, MD, MSc, FRCPC, the study’s principal investigator and a staff pediatrician and scientist at The Hospital for Sick Children (SickKids).

A total of 894 children from ages six to twenty-four months participated in the study, conducted from 2011 to 2015.

Dr. Birken, says in a news release, the research findings could reinforce the policy recommendation of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) to limit any type of screen media in children primarily on the younger ones, 18 months and below.

However, she also added that more research is required to have a clearer understanding of how screen devices affect a child’s speech delay – like knowing what type of content children indulge with.

Lead by the author Julia Ma, HBSc, an MPH student at the University of Toronto, the study is the first to probe the correlation between handheld screen time and risk of expressive language delay.

AAP Policy

Last year, November 2016, AAP issued their three policy statements, which detailed how children should use media and avoid unnecessary repercussions: “Media and Young Minds,” “Media Use in School-Aged Children and Adolescents,” and “Children, Adolescents and Digital Media.”

In these policy statements, AAP encourages parents to be vigilant as they play an integral role if technology would benefit their children or not.

“Families should proactively think about their children’s media use and talk with children about it, because too much media use can mean that children don’t have enough time during the day to play, study, talk, or sleep,” said Jenny Radesky, MD, FAAP, lead author of the policy statement, “Media and Young Minds.”

AAP policy statements elaborated the effects of media on children, prominently on health issues.

With different age group as subjects, the “Media and Young Minds” included infants, toddlers and pre-school children while “Media Use in School-Aged Children and Adolescents” focused from ages 5 to 18.

In addition, AAP released a Family Media Plan Tool on October 2016, which can be used to help parents in guiding their children for using media.

AAP Recommendations

AAP have also laid several recommendations for avoiding overexposure of children on media. These are divided into three subgroups: pediatricians, families, and industries.

See: Media and Young Minds

Source: PAS (news release), AAP (news release)

 

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