Gov. Brown of Oregon Is Really, Really Sick Of The Militia

Well since the sex toys didn’t work, the Oregon Militia must be faced with the opposer they’ve been opposing during this whole opposition—The dreaded government!  Oregon governor Kate Brown was livid Wednesday over the manner in which the federal authorities have been mishandling this makeshift militia. How exactly has this mock militia been mishandled? Well, they’re still there, and have been since Jan. 2… so our mathematical estimation of mishandling is about 100% confounded.  

This haphazard occupation of a federal bird sanctuary is being faux pas’ed at the dollar of the tax Oregon taxpayer. Governor Brown has made it clear that the provisional militia must “move quickly to end the occupation and hold all of the wrongdoers accountable… The residents of Harney County have been overlooked and underserved by federal officials’ response thus far. I have conveyed these very grave concerns directly to our leaders at the highest levels of our government: the U.S. Department of Justice and the White House.”

We can all agree that while this militia occupation was made to be hillarious from day one when dad’s made heartfelt videos that instantly went into meme mode, and when their care package wishes were met with sex toy deliveries. But now the occupation has become exasperated after the movement has been met with nothing but bags of dicks and snowcapped pseudo-stalwartness.



“This spectacle of lawlessness must end, and until Harney County is free of it, I will not stop insisting that federal officials enforce the law.” Said the very correct governor on this topic. While not revealing an exact number figure in regards to the cost of the taxpayers she has issued a reimbursement unto them.

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