Kanye West and Ikea: A Match Made In A Very Confusing Heaven

Again, we bring you a story about Kanye West—An artist who as of late has been so enigmatic and amid controversy that he has basically become the up-until-recently hidden OJ murder weapon of music. We weren’t talking about it for a while… but in a surreal and sudden turn of events it’s back!


This time rather than a twitter spat with an electric mouse, Kanye has gotten himself lost in the ever mysterious world of foreign furniture.

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Kanye West met with Ikea and left with some new ideas. Kanye recently revealed that the prices of his latest Yeezy line will be significantly lowered. So perhaps to keep the prices dropping, Yeezy season 4 will have some assembly required. Or worse, imagine if Kanye is going into the furniture business with Ikea to create his own line? The instructions for those pieces would be unreal!

Step 1: After laying out all the pieces simply ask yourself, “is this a God dream? Will I stay true to myself throughout this creative process? Or will a pair of Wiz Khalifa’s jeans f**k it up for me again?”

Step 2: Call your assistant. Have them put it together. If they break it, write a dope ass verse about how they always be breaking your sh*t.

Then once it’s all assembled, turns out it’s just a statue of Kanye West, when the box clearly stated it was supposed to be a Gudom, whatever that is. Kanye and Ikea, the two most confusing things in the world are hanging out. That’s like if calculus had lunch with a complete sentence spoken by Sara Palin. Very confusing. Kanye West and Ikea go together like a Duderö and a Melisjsäntr should apparently go together but it’s midnight and no one cares about this dresser anymore to just hammer it in until it’s not wobbling anymore, I don’t care.

Kanye was inspired by Ikea. Fans probably aren’t too thrilled to hear that. On one hand it means absolutely nothing and makes no sense. On the other hand, so has everything Kanye’s done lately. So all in all, look forward to some cool sideboards in the future that have holes all in them, are modeled by A$AP, are impossible to put together, look like they’re from a junk pile, and set you back about 1,400 dollars.

 

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