NFL Withholds Super Bowl ’17 From Atlanta If Gov. Passes Anti-LGBTA Bill

The Super bowl, or as it is referred to by neurologists, new patient draft day, is a pretty big deal to host. The cities and the states Super Bowls are held in have massive influx of tourism which is great for local businesses and town morale. One town in particular is waiting with bated breath to get have the honor to host. That city is Atlanta who has a brand new stadium just waiting to be completely trashed by sports fanatics who are completely trashed.

Hosting the Super Bowl would be great for Atlanta in more ways than one. For instance, Atlanta’s local business and town morale has already taken a big downward spiral due to a new bill about to be voted on that would increase discrimination against LGBTA members. If the bill is passed LGBTA members could lose jobs, be refused service or housing, and face more outward prejudice from people who think the law is on their side. So hosting the Super Bowl would be great if the bill passed and they needed to be cheered up. The gays would be over the moon to have all those beefy football players and their drunk, rowdy, possibly closeted fans staying in their town. And the lesbians have all those cheerleaders, bar waitresses, and most likely Beyonce. Not to mention they’ll also have a shot at wayward wives and girlfriends who probably got dragged to the game or bar that have to deal with a passed out boyfriend who can’t get it up because he literally can’t get up from the sidewalk he passed out on. And the asexuals will be just happy to have all these new people to meet and have cordial conversations with.

But the NFL has wagged its finger at Atlanta’s bid to host the 2017 big-and-flashy-neck-snappy event.

“NFL policies emphasize tolerance and inclusiveness, and prohibit discrimination based on age, gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, or any other improper standard. Whether the laws and regulations of a state and local community are consistent with these policies would be one of many factors NFL owners may use to evaluate potential Super Bowl host sites.”

So good for the NFL to put this ultimatum and pressure on Georgia’s lawmakers. That’s a hard bargain. “Well, on one hand we hate the gays… but on the other hand we sure do love men in tight outfits hugging each other and fighting over who gets possession of the balls. So… boy are we in a quandary.”

While this is good news in part on the NFL (who should probably change their name to the NFLGBT) for defending the marginalized victims of this situation… it’s still a little screwed up that sports would be the reason that tolerance would triumph over ignorance. It’s like reverse FIFA. Instead of sleazy corruption and extensive bribery in a sport where most of the injuries are wildly faked, it’s a sport where people literally walk away with brain damage after two hours of butting heads saying, “guys can’t we all just be nice to each other?”


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