Taylor Swift Reportedly Dumped Calvin Harris For Visiting A Very Shady Thai Massage Parlor

Taylor Swift Reportedly Dumped Calvin Harris For Visiting A Very Shady Thai Massage Parlor

Go home, America. Stop what you’re doing, turn the lights off, get the kettle going. Love is dead and there is nothing you can do about it.

 America’s sweethearts, Future President of the United States Taylor Swift and her boyfriend, DJ Calvin Harris, are reportedly done, according to Radar Online. Six months, down the drain. On the bright side, we may get a new Swift album sooner than we thought, but still, they looked adorable together. The smooching and the gallivanting and the chivalry. All done. I can’t believe we still have to work today.

How did this happen? I’ll tell you how it happened – Harris was recently spotted leaving a Thai massage parlor.

That’s it?

Well, it’s a Thai massage parlor. It’s not like a Massage Envy, where some pleasant woman named Donna gives you a massage while the gentle sounds of the rainforest play. It’s a totally different ball game at a Thai massage parlor… so I’ve heard.

 According to Radar (which has photos of the DJ leaving the establishment), Harris was spotted at the parlor after a two-hour visit last month, making Swift very suspicious despite Harris’ insistence that nothing happened. Then Swift allegedly broke it off last week, with Harris begging for a reconciliation. Of course, we should note at this point that Radar Online isn’t the most reliable of sources, so take all of this with an extremely large grain of salt.

And then there’s this: Gawker looked into the particular parlor Harris visited. According to reviews from enthusiasts of those kind of massage parlors, the spot specializes in quality massages but — wait for it — gives no happy endings. None. Per one reviewer: “Get your mind out of the gutter. There’s no happy ending. Not even a happy beginning.” And from another reviewer: “It was hard not to get a HE [happy ending] From her especially since she was so cute but it was not offered so I had no choice but to take a great massage experience.”

No happy endings. The same can be said for Taylor’s relationships.

Stay tuned as this “story” develops.

(Via Radar Online)

Check Also

Playboy founder Hugh Hefner dead at 91

Playboy Founder Hugh Hefner Dead at 91

Hugh Hefner -- the silk-robed Casanova whose Playboy men's magazine popularized the term "centerfold," glamorized an urbane bachelor lifestyle and helped spur the sexual revolution of the 1960s -- has died, the magazine said late Wednesday. He was 91.